Do What You Have to Do
by beelzemongirl
Summary: Songfic. A kinda side story to Little Angel. Lockdown goes to see Angel in the hospital when he can't recharge. Kinda sad, but I hope you like it.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Ideas and Shadow Wing and anyone else who seems unfamiliar to you. Amethyst, Death Gar, and Angel belong to Starscream's Amethyst, not me. I don't own the song Do what You Have to Do, by Sarah McLachlan.

_What ravages of spirit_

_Conjured this tempestuous rage? _

_Created you a monster,_

_Broken by the rule of love. _

Lockdown didn't have it in him to go into recharge. He couldn't. in a way, he was kin to the sick little Angel. He couldn't, wouldn't recharge until he knew she would be okay. It infuriated him to know that fate had chosen this poor little one to feed off of, whisking her life away like she didn't mean anything at all.

_And fate has led you through it. _

_You do what you have to do. _

_And fate has led you through it. _

_You do what you have to do. _

He got up and started pacing the room. He didn't know what to do right now. Shadow was peacefully recharging. But he couldn't do it. He needed to go back, just to see if she was okay. Her family, her family had been surprisingly good to him. Lockdown sighed. If only Amethyst knew the real reason why her father was never around for her and her mother…

_And I have the sense to recognize, _

_That I don't know how to let you go. _

_Every moment marked with the apparition of your soul. _

_I'm ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire. _

He had stayed with Lockdown to finish his upbringing. Death gar had taught Lockdown all he knew about hunting. But now he was needed, and he wasn't about ready to let that girl go yet. She was too young, too sweet to let go. He had to be there for Angel, to help her carry on. He was her uncle in a way, right?

_The yearning to be near you. _

_I do what I have to do. _

_The yearning to be near you. _

_I do what I have to do. _

He left a note on the table next to their berth and took off to find the hospital that Angel was forced to spend her short days in. He reached the room and found Starscream, Amethyst, and Death gar. Death Gar nodded in greeting. Lockdown did the same and looked at Starscream. He nodded to allow him inside.

_And I have a sense to recognize, _

_That I don't know how to let you go. _

_I don't know how to let you go. _

"You okay?" Death Gar asked him.

Lockdown nodded, but he was hurting even now. He loved this little sparkling, and it hurt him to know that she might not survive. He wanted to tear his spark out, it hurt that bad. It was almost like he blamed himself, almost like how he did for his mother.

_A glowing ember, _

_Burning hot and burning slow, _

_Deep within, I'm shaken by the violence, _

_Of existing only for you. _

"Lockdown, you can talk to me. We used to talk all time" Death Gar told him.

"I know" Lockdown replied, "But I'd rather not right now".

Lockdown gazed down at Angel who was safe in recharge. He wondered if she was in pain when she was awake. Luckily she was in recharge, where pain couldn't follow.

_I know, I can't be with you. _

_I do what I have to do. _

_I know, I can't be with you. _

_I do what I have to do. _

"Lockdown, please, for your sake…I know you're hurt. Let it out. Just let it all out" Death Gar put a hand on his former apprentice's shoulder.

He took a few unsteady breaths, and then finally the dam went down, and for the first time in eons, Lockdown found himself in tears.

_And I have the sense to recognize, _

_But I don't know how to let you go. _

_I don't know how to let you go.  
I don't know how to let you go. _

He looked pitiful, to be honest, but he was hurt by this. Starscream and Death Gar joined in with him. They would mourn this together, the three of them. Soon enough, Amethyst would do the same. If that Angel died that night, nothing would ever be the same for anyone. But Lockdown clung to Death Gar like a scared sparkling, and for the first time in a while, he was reminded that life was too precious to throw away. He continued to cry in Death Gar's embrace.

"Please, don't let her die, Primus. Please…".

A/N: Yeah, I'm crying now I think. I think this is the saddest fic I've ever written. I hope I don't make anyone else cry. Anyway, Yeah, I'll explain the whole Lockdown Death Gar thing here…when Lockdown was a sparkling, his mother was killed by Megatron's soldiers. Before they could kill him, Death Gar rushed in and defended him. Later, he took Lockdown under his wing, raised him, and trained him. So, yeah, there is no Slash here, guys. Sorry if I implied there was. 


End file.
